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men are ... something something
2001-12-17
5:06 am
gormenghast was quite captivating. i watched the entire damn thing in one sitting tonight, four episodes (four hours) in all. jonathan rhys meyers is also quite captivating.
note: skip this paragraph and the links within if you don't have a fast connection and/or aren't patient. mike told me about this ad. that's pretty good, but i still have my favorites. sex, dan. bowling is ok and all, but it's not hockey. speaking of hockey, he shoots, he scores! i should probably be ashamed to admit it, but this one still cracks me up. ok, that really is enough of that because i am now impatient.
i was in the convenience store the other day, waiting to use the ATM. there was a group of three guys together, and another guy waiting that wasn't with them. behind me were another guy and a girl. quite the line. the three guys that were together all looked like the stereotype of the 'typical' guy. so after the first one is done getting his money, he moves over to the right and glances at the magazines. their discussion then turned to females on magazine covers, and what rating each would get on a scale of 1-10. it was also mentioned in their conversation that one of the guys lost his wallet last week - because he left it on the top of his car when he was leaving hooters. oh yay. way to shatter that stereotype, gentlemen.
there was a time at my last place of work that it really started to bother me that i was the lone female employee. actually, when i was first hired, there was another female, but she quit shortly thereafter. so then i was alone. i can't remember how long it was before we got another female, but it took many females being hired before they hired any decent ones. believe me. the first female that came after me was pretty much only hired because she was dating someone near the top of the company. argh.
anyway, back to what i was originally on about. although i seem to prefer males friends most of the time, the male sex can certainly piss me off. i'd go to lunch with 3-4 guys who would comment on the physical appearance of nearly every female who walked by. it's always amusing to hear something like "that girl is ok, but her ass is too big" coming out of the mouth of a guy who i would imagine wouldn't be rating up at the top of that 1-10 scale himself. or to hear them belittle female celebrities who most certainly wouldn't give them the time of day. the thing that's so odd about it is that it seems to be contagious. like one guy alone starts it, but then they all join in. i've known very few men in my life who will just ignore the conversation when their guy friends start up with that crap.
one day in the office, some guy found that damn anacam and then within a day or two nearly every guy was running her cam somewhere on their desktop. ok, so i never sat & watched her cam, but i've seen more of her nakedness than i ever cared to. dude, watch that shit at home. i certainly don't want to have to see it every time i come into your office, and god forbid a client show up.
i don't remember when, but at some point it really started to get to me. i'd come home from work every day in a very negative mood. i'd think about how i spent over twenty years of my life being too skinny and never happy with my appearance. i'd remember so many girls saying they were envious of my skinniness, while i hated every minute of it. then i finally gained some weight and instantly felt fat and still unhappy with my appearance. i'd remember how, in high school, my best friend would buy a package of crackers from the vending machine at lunch and that would be all she'd eat all day - because she thought she was fat, which she most certainly wasn't. i'd think about how my friend's little sister was on a diet at 10 years old. i'd remember how when i was 10, i wanted to buy some of that stuff you make milkshakes with that is supposed to make you gain weight because i was tired of being called 'toothpick'. i thought about getting an F in junior high gym class because i refused to dress out. i made friends with the 'fat' girl, who was at the other end of the spectrum, but didn't dress out for exactly the same reasons.
i wanted to change the world. i wanted society to snap out of it. of course, none of that happened. i suppose i just learned how to deal with it again. it still pisses me off that most of us seem to be so programmed to think like this. i'd love to think that i'm pretty good at not letting this kind of crap get to me, but as should be obvious - it does get to me way too often.
i am certainly prone to crushes. it's not as if i never take notice of good looking males. the guys that i've loved, however - and i mean truly loved (which admittedly is a very small group) - have all had minimum impact on me at the first meeting. i don't recall thinking "WOO! LOOK AT HIM!" upon first seeing any of them. of course once i've fallen in love, there is a lot of "WOO!" involved. i guess that's another inherently female thing about me. my physical attraction can get very tied to my emotional attraction. you know, some famous guy that i'm never going to meet and know anyway - looks are fine. that's all i really need to know about. if i'm going to spend any amount of time with a guy, though, and most certainly if i'm going to pursue a relationship with him - there has to be more than looks involved. along the same lines, i can also think of many guys who i thought were attractive - until they opened their mouth.
random movie quote:
"millions of years of evolution, right? right? men have to stick it in every place they can, but for women ... it is just about security and commitment and whatever the fuck else?!"
"a little oversimplified, alice, but yes, something like that."
"if you men only knew ..."
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